Envision Wedding Crashers…Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn tear up wedding party after wedding party even amongst complete strangers. No one knows them at first, but by the end of the party EVERYBODY wants to either be them or be around them. Let’s do a socio/psychological breakdown of how they performed such a feat. First, forget the notion of lying, because I don’t endorse the notion of pretending to be someone you’re not (*unless you’re in Vegas lol).
– They were the life of the party, because they seemed like they were fun to be around. They had this infections aura about them that attracted anyone and everyone even from a distance. Here’s a secret…they were truly and genuinely having a good time. People can see that, especially those of the opposite sex. It’s an intangible asset that can actually be an aphrodisiac of sorts and at the very least catch the attention of your target.
– You CAN’T be sitting by yourself at the bar hoping some girl will just magically come up to talk to you. And no you do not look very fun to be around; despite you being thoroughly amused playing ‘Draw Something’ by yourself on your iPhone. Find someone who looks cordial enough and not too preoccupied to at least be able to strike up some small talk while you sit down for a meal or a drink. If their first sight of you is by yourself, they’ll immediately think that there’s a reason why you are solo and/or why no one wants to talk to you.
– There is a term “motion creates emotion,” but for the purpose of this lesson, we will simply say that commotion creates emotion. The closet teacher inside me always likes using examples to fortify points. Have you ever seen one of those guys on the street shuffling three cards on a table, while having people try and guess where the Ace is? There is a whole crowd huddled around, so from a distance, you have no idea what’s going on until you approach. The same exact principle is in effect in numerous social settings. If she sees people gathered around you and there is a commotion of conversation and strong body language displayed, then most likely she will inquisitively be curious as to what the ruckus is all about. The good thing is that you don’t need a crowd of 20, just 2 maybe 3 tops to accomplish your feat. The goal is to get her attention, have her look over your way, make eye contact, and connect. The even bigger goal is after that split second connection is to wave her over to have her see for herself what she’s missing.
This is part 1 of the lesson. In Part 2 we can delve into different ways of being interesting enough to have a mini crowd and to create the eye catching commotion.